writing

Queries Are Like Bad Dates

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My daughter said while getting ready for school this morning, “I think you need to get remarried.”

Me: (saying in passing as I butter my son’s toast) “That would require me to date.”

My daughter: “It must be really hard to find a someone to date.”

Me: “That, my dearest daughter, is an understatement.”

I have always been awkward around guys. Well, people in general, and I’m okay with it. I do my thing, I always try to be myself and to love who I am. Though, when I actually have a good conversation with a guy, I play in cool. But in my head, I’m jumping up and down, clapping, and saying: “Yippie!!!”

Dating my way

For me, choosing books to read, and writing queries are very simular to dating.

reading

Not only does the blurb about the book (whether your own or not) has to be enticing. The personality of the main character has to shine through like a big neon sign to get someone interested in the story or you (if your dating).

Neon sign sign

It can get awkward when you read a book jacket for the book that everyone is raving about, but it’s just…meh. Of course, you buy it, because who doesn’t like a shiny new book?

The jacket blurb gives your promises and sometimes it’s more reliable than the jacket. Like a blind date.

Blind_date_Display

Then there are those books that you know nothing about, but once you are the jacket, the desire stirs within you. Then there is that excited squeal that I found another book that makes me want to go home to my comfy chair and read to my hearts content.

excitment

Here are three books that pulled me in by the blurb on the jacket.

  1. Just One Wish, by Jennette Rallison

Just one wish  a

2. The DUFF, by Kody Keplinger

the duff

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face.

But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.
Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn’t such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she’s falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

3. The Raven Boys (The Raven Cyle #1) by Maggie Stiefvater

Raven boys

Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue never sees them–until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks to her.

His name is Gansey, a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble.

But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can’t entirely explain. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul whose emotions range from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher who notices many things but says very little.

For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She doesn’t believe in true love, and never thought this would be a problem. But as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore.

Then there are WRITING QUERIES!

b

Querying is one of the hardest things to write. It’s like a bad first date where a person inevitably says too much. Instead of an enticing conversation, it can quickly become an awkward summery of useless facts and way too much oversharing. Don’t do that!!

Dating

Put your awkwardness away, because you have the fabulous novel that is aching to be published. But you need an agent.

gatekeeper

They are the gatekeepers to the New York publishing world. Yes, there are publishers who will do accept submissions without an agent, but you still need to write the query. And it better be good!

Here are what some agents say about queries (from the blog, Writers In The Storm):

“Spelling errors or grammatical mistakes. They just make me want to stop reading.” – Lisa Leshne, LJK Literary Management

“Unfocused queries and the term ‘fiction novel.'” -Melissa Flashman, Trident Media Group, LLC

“I’m sick of vagueness. I get so many queries every day that don’t tell me enough about the novel. If there’s no reason for me to say yes, then it’s going to be no.” -Bridget Smith, Dunham Literary, Inc.

Go to the blog to read more. It’s a very good post.

Agents are fantastic about telling you what works and what doesn’t. Kinda like a dating coach.

coaching.gif

A few consistent tips for query writing so you don’t be the awkward douche bag who everyone cringes at.

collins

  1. Be polite and professional
  2. No typos. Read your query three times over, then have five honest friends look it over
  3. Follow the submission guidelines
  4. Do your research! (because asking an agent to represent your book that they do not represent will only lead to awkward embarrassment for you)c
  5. No abstractions. Stick to the main conflict of the story. What are the stakes for the main character? Give enough reasons to care without oversharing.

Here are a few websites that I find to be helpful.

  1. Query Shark
  2. Agent Query
  3. Nathan Bransford’s blog
  4. Query Letter Success
  5. YA Highway

Like my sister told me when I was 16 (someone actually wrote a blog about Mr. Collin’s awkwardness), “Don’t be awkward like Mr. Collins,…”

awkward

“…but be awkward as Mr. Darcy.”

Follow the querying/literary social rules, and be a literary rockstar!

 

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Music to Write By and Querying

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I have recently finished and queried a young adult horror novel. I’m sitting here, like,

embarrassed

I have agents reading my work, and it’s worse than a freaking blind date! I want to tell you all about my novel. I want to be like i’m here world! Read this! In reality, I’m trying to act like I’ve got this.

superman

And whenever someone asks me about my novel, I’m like, “Yeah dude. I got this.”

screaming

In reality, I’m back in my shell, trying to think about my novel in the hands of wicked awesome agents who could say no.

hiding

A friend of mine (who writes New Adult and you should totally buy her freaking awesome books, because I’m not a fan of New Adult, but I love her work) gave me the best advice. Start a new project!

I have so many ideas, that I’m like, oookkayyy…

Castle

So where do I start? A playlist, which inevitably gets modified as I go along. Here is the playlist for novel that I’m querying.

  1. MERCY, Duffy
  2. I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, Jeff Beck (featuring Joss Stone)
  3. FEELS LIKE RAIN, John Hiatt
  4. IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT, The Five Satins
  5. ALL I WANT, Kodaline
  6. STAY WITH ME, Sam Smith
  7. YELLOW, Coldplay
  8. CREEP, Stone Temple Pilots
  9. DEMONS, Imagine Dragons
  10. HURT, Johnny Cash
  11. PEOPLE ARE STRANGE, The Doors
  12. RUNAWAY TRAIN, Soul Asylum
  13. COMING FOR YOU, The Offspring
  14. EVIL WAYS, Blues Saraceno
  15. QUIET LITTLE VOICES, We Were Promised Jetpacks
  16. SUITE FOR SOLO CELLO NO. 1 (PRELUDE), Yo-Yo Ma
  17. LIGHTNING CRASHES, Live
  18. PUSH THE BUTTON, Amy Lee
  19. SEVEN DEVILS, Florence and the Machine
  20. THE PRETENDER, Foo Fighters
  21. THE GHOST OF YOU, My Chemical Romance
  22. BRING ME TO LIFE, Evanescence
  23. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, Blondie
  24. NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT, Fred Astaire

How do you start a new work in progress?

Frustration in the Editing Process

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meme

Beta readers are SO important if you want to find an agent, attract editors, and appeal to audiences. When I write, the story is engrossing that I don’t necessarily see the problems that are plaguing my work in progress, but I also have the fear of showing anyone my work. I’m Miss Passive Aggressive 2015, and I’ve always have had a problem showing anyone my art work, my writing, or really anything that I have done. It’s exposure at it’s finest and for me it’s like running down the street, completely naked while screaming: “Look at me! Look at me!”

When I handed my WIP over to my beta readers, I was like:

embarrassed

It’s hard to be a writer. Not only do you have to sit down and put a world of people, colors, smells, emotions, places, events, murders, romances, and heartbreak. I have fallen in love with my characters or hate them, because of their actions. My main character, Mary Elliot, is angry and hurt, but she is also 17 and does fall in love while trying to stop a villain that is concealed for a good portion of the book. When she gets angry, she gets mouthy and mean, and that comes off as being insensitive and nasty.

sneezing

I’m like….okay….How the hell do I fix a character flaw that is supposed to be there? As a character, she actually isn’t nasty, but is hurt and desperate. She loves and trusts too easily, which is her fatal flaw. However, the problem that I am having is that I do not put enough information, what motivates her to act and react.

But back to the topic…

One big advice that everyone gives is get a trusted group of readers aka beta readers. I went to the Backspace Writer’s Conference in November 2012 (just after Hurricane Sandy), and that is where I met a group of awesome people, who are good writers. When it came time for me to give them a peak at my WIP, I was biting my nails and pacing around my room. Having them read my novel, was like having a villain finding me, feeling exposed that someone was tearing apart every word that I had written. (I chose this GIF because of Robert Kazinksy simply because he freaking rocked as Warlow and he has been in my dreams a few times since I saw Hot Pursuit earlier this month)

shower

To put it bluntly, I felt scared that they would hate it. They did hate it. Actually, it was more like: “I hate your character” and “This is too long” and “You’re main character is too passive” and “This isn’t how teenagers talk (though I did when I was 17)” and “It’s too short” or “It’s too long.” I think my favorite negative response was: “You’ve got good bones, but it needs help.” After having three people read it, I was left feeling defeated, anxious, and a failure. Mostly though, I was frustrated.

Castle

I was speechless, and I took it to heart (not a good reaction). My reaction was:

tongue

My WIP is unique and I built it around historical events. There are real issues that are tackled in this novel, and I’m proud of the story. So I swallowed my pride, brought out my chair, and hyper-focused on all the problems they had said. Then I gave it back to them. No one has actually finished the entire WIP (mainly because I haven’t given the ending to anyone). There were some improvements, but the same problem. They didn’t like Mary. I was like:

“Yeah, thanks guys!”

Rob K

“Thanks a lot!”

Honestly, I was doubting myself as a writer. The internet didn’t help at all. I was looking up different ways on how to write in action voice, dialogue, formatting, whether to use a prologue or flashbacks, and nothing helped. Nothing I did felt right. The entire manuscript was felt wrong and just bad, and no matter what I did, it was never going to get better. Finally, I realized my confidence had been shaken, because of what I thought others wanted from me was more important than showing the story through words.

I realized that Ernest Hemingway was right.

Ernest Hemingway

All of us learn from each other about what works and what doesn’t work. We can learn from each other, and take the critiques, because generally they’re right (just don’t take it personally, because it’s not personal). This is what beta readers are for. They help make our WIPs the best the can possibly be so that we can succeed as authors, so so that someday, Eric freaking Northman aka Alexander Skarsgard can pick up my book and I can think of this!

Eric

I also realized they don’t write horror/thrillers but romance! WAYYYY different formulas and styles. So I asked another friend to read it (someone who edits and reads thrillers/horrors and YA). She was like, great story, but details! I need details.

jack

I smiled. Happily, I’m now back to work, adding details of why Mary is so angry. The information that motivates the characters, that makes them interesting was missing. That was my problem, and I needed that pointed out to me. Now I’m not doubting my writing skills and I’ve stopped looking up the “how to’s” on the internet, and comparing myself to other writers. My novel is a part of me, because it came from my imagination. That’s why I had such a defensive reaction. My betas were only trying to help, and they did help me. For that, I’m really grateful for! They are my friends, and they are fabulous, awesome people!

The moral is: It’s hard to put yourself out there, but it is helpful to do so. More so, it’s harder to not take critiques personal, but use them as a learning tool. I’ve learned not to take critiques personal, and now I’ve been given the reasons why my WIP wasn’t working. It’s up to me to fix the bugs, and submit the best manuscript possible. I can, thanks to my beta readers!

Have you felt this type of defensiveness and frustration?

Let’s Talk About Sex…Scenes

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McLovin

I am currently writing a Young Adult dark urban thriller, horror. It was suggested that maybe I give my main character some…loving. Normally, I would never write a sex scene. Not my genre and I’d like my family to be able to read my work without me hiding away, blushing profusely.

Harry Potter

The sex scene honestly does make sense, and would push the narrative along, and would be just as useful as a well placed murder. Hey! I write thrillers and horrors. Not romances.

Sex Gwenyth

But I read romances.

kiss

I’ve been thinking about sex scenes a lot, not just because of this suggestion, but also because I watch a lot of TV/movies and read a lot. Here is some proof. That’s not even the half of my book collection.

books 1

I have been thinking about sex scenes as literary devices and how they can be used. One of my favorite romance authors is Cora Carmack. Her debut, Losing It, is one of the funniest (in a good way) and most interesting romance novels that I have read. She doesn’t go overboard on sex scenes (like 50 Shades), but places them where it will push the story along.

Losing It

This is what Losing It is about: Virginity. Bliss Edwards is about to graduate from college and still has hers. Sick of being the only virgin among her friends, she decides the best way to deal with the problem is to lose it as quickly and simply as possible– a one-night stand. But her plan turns out to be anything but simple when she freaks out and leaves her potential sexual partner alone and naked in her bed with an excuse that no one with half-a-brain would ever believe. And as if if that weren’t embarrassing enough, when she arrives for her first class of her last college semester, she recognizes her new theatre professor. She’d left him naked in her bed about 8 hours earlier.

Not only is Bliss relatable, but she is also fun to read about. This book has the best spin the bottle scene with consequences ever! Anyhow, back on topic. The scenes are graphic and over the top, and they help with the storytelling. It’s not forced or I’m not sitting questioning why the scene is in there like I have with other books and TV shows.

For me, there are two extremes with it comes to sex scenes.

1. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon:

Titanic Blood And Steel 2012

Let me be clear, I LOVE the Outlander series. It’s pretty funny how I stumbled upon this gem of a book. It started last summer when a friend of mine mentioned Outlander, then I saw that Sam Heughan aka Prince Ashton from A Princess for Christmas….

Princess for Christmas

I absolutely love, love, love cheesy Christmas movies! They are freaking awesome to watch with my sister (who is just as snarky as me) and a bowl of popcorn. We’re like:

Dancing Katie

When Hallmark or ABC Family comes out with new movies each year.

But I distress…

Outlander has a very interesting storyline and very likable characters. I love fiery Claire Randall and smoldering/dangerous/sexy-in-a-kilt Jamie Fraser. Here’s the description of the book:

The year is 1945. Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is just back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach—an “outlander”—in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans in the year of Our Lord…1743.

Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire is catapulted into the intrigues of lairds and spies that may threaten her life, and shatter her heart. For here James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, shows her a love so absolute that Claire becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire—and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

The is smart, funny, dark in a lot of the time, and is unforgettable. Also, the sex scenes are tasteful, well placed, and it shows the love that develops between Jamie and Claire. Necessary, but not tacky.

Jamie Fraser

The problem I have isn’t with the book, but with the TV show. I LOVE Ron Moore’s work, and I understand that sex is a part of the story. However, I feel (and this is my opinion) that certain sex scenes could have been skipped and it would have made the show better. The one scene that comes to mind from episode 10: “By the Pricking of My Thumb”.

It opens with Claire withering in ecstasy, because Jamie is giving her good oral sex. The scene was filmed with such slow perscistion that for a moment, I was like: “Is he actually giving her oral sex? Nope. I don’t want to see Sam Heughan give Catriona Balfe oral.”

007

Worse! Murtagh was banging on the door before she climaxed, then he came in after she was coming down. Very, very creepy. I get it. Ron Moore wants to show how deeply Jamie and Claire are in love, but honey, you’ve done that very well in the last few episodes when the sex scenes are needed to push the story along. The oral sex scene feels contrived and over the top to me. It wasn’t necessary and honestly, it wasn’t even a part of the story arc of that episode.  Click here for an article about this episode from A.V. Club to get their opinion.

Here is a post that Diana Gabaldon posted on her Facebook. Here’s the link to the article & screen shots:

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 2.02.14 PM Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 2.02.45 PM

I think these conversations are very important. Sex is an intimate thing that can be use very well as a plot device. It can also be overdone and just plan tacky.

The other thought I had involves Christian Literature.

2. When Calls the Heart by: Janette Oke:

I stumbled upon this Hallmark show thanks to Lori Loughlin, Twitter, and Hard Candy. I’ve mentioned Hard Candy before, and I love the book and TV so I won’t dwell on it any longer. When I found When Calls the Heart, I was down with the stomach flu. A tweet from Lori Loughlin was retweeted and I happened to see it. I also saw Daniel Lissing (from Hard Candy) as a Mountie (made me smile) in a photograph on her Twitter page. My reaction was: “What’s this?”

iTunes has all of season one for sale, so I buy the first episode. Loved every minute of it, so I bought the whole season. Binged watched while I was stuck in bed. FYI: they’re now airing season 2. I love the storyline, the acting, the pacing, the writing, and it is fun to watch with my sister.

I love the blossoming romance between Jack and Elizabeth. I have to remind myself that it’s Hallmark, and we’re not going to see any sex scenes as it’s a G show and Outlander is MA. But the chemistry between Erin Krakow and Daniel Lissing is just as strong as the chemistry between Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe. The difference is the amount of sex and naked bodies we get to see.

Honestly, to write or to act as love interests without sex or nudity is much harder than if you just pull back the sheets and are like:

emma

Some of the sexist scenes I have ever seen or read has been pulled off without getting graphic. For example, in The One by Kiera Cass, America Singer pulls Prince Maxon down on her by his belt buckle. Yep hot, but not over the top. Personally I like less graphic, well placed sex scenes over the explains that comes from a lot of New Adult and Romance novels. I have a very good imagination. Let me use it! Sensual scenes are a great tool in a writer’s belt, but back to Janette Oke.

Since I like the TV show a lot, I wanted to read the books. The real When Calls the Heart is so, so, SO different from the TV show. It’s really two different stories. Not gonna lie, the book was hard to get through, but for the purpose of this post (sex scenes), I’m choosing When Comes the Spring, which is the sequel. After Elizabeth (different Elizabeth from the TV show) marries her mountie (uh, huh) at the beginning, I laughed.

When Comes the Spring

While Outlander (the TV show) has gone a wee bit overboard with sex scenes, this book was laughable when avoiding any mention of sex. It’s like Janette Oke twirled happily around the topic.

spinning

Elizabeth and Wynn are on their honeymoon, and on the day after their wedding. Wynn goes out to buy some supplies because they decide to hike up a mountain. Okay, couples do stuff on their honeymoon besides grooving to Marvin Gaye between the sheets.

So Elizabeth takes a bath and all she can think about is hiking up a freaking mountain. That’s when I lost it. I haven’t laughed at a book so hard since D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterly’s Lover. I mean, I understand Christian literature, but a woman who has just had sex for the first time (honeymoon and the kissing prior to the scene alludes to this fact) isn’t going to be taking a freaking bath and thinking about climbing an actual mountain. She’s going to be thinking about conquering another kind of peak (if you get my drift).

So I haven’t picked it back up since putting down a few days ago. I don’t know if I will, because let’s be honest, a sex scene or at least a word or two alluding to it would have made the scene real and would have worked SO much better. I can handle the preachy stuff of Christian literature, but this scene was so ridiculous it was just odd.

My point for this post is putting a well written sex scene (like Cora Carmack has done) to make the story more solid is a good when it’s tasteful. It does bother me when the sex scenes pile on each other and becomes so gratuitous that the story become ridiculous and gross. Or the author goes out of their way to not have a sex scene it makes the story ridiculous and unrelatable.

Sex scenes are just like a murder scene; when used correctly, it can drive the story to a better place and make the characters grow when otherwise they wouldn’t. Will I put sex in this manuscript that I’m writing? I don’t think so. Honestly, I don’t think it’s necessary for the narrative or for either character that would be involved in the scene.

So tell me, what do you think? You don’t have to agree with me, but this post is wholly my opinion.

Dear Word Count, I Loathe You

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Dear Word Count,

I hate your freaking guts! Every time I edit or write a WIP (work in progress), I’m thinking about you. Just to tell my current novel well, I went from 75,000 to 95,000 words. I gulped and an ominous feeling made my skin prickle. I felt like this:

goonies

You are constantly creeping behind me like something stalking me and I can’t outrun no matter, and no matter how hard I try, you are still there!

running away

I know, I know. As a reader, I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by how big the novel looks. My non-reader friends are like:

Reading

But I am not Leo Tolstoy who completed War and Peace at 587,287 words or Marcel Proust who novel, In Search of Lost Time, is the longest novel in the English language, which clocks in at 1, 267,069 words.  I’m not them! I am me! I am a young adult writer. More than that, I’m a story a teller and the advice from agents and other writers has varied so much that sometime I want to do this after reading blogposts after a half hour or so:

hitting head

So what do I do to myself? Google it of course. What I got was a whole lot of ambiguous numbers from different sources. Here are some (click on the link to see the page if you wish):

1. Literary Rejection: 50,000 to 80,000 words

2. Writersdigest: 40,000 t0 65,000 words

3. Litreactor.com: 55,000 to 90,000 words

4. Bookends Lit Agency Blog: 50,000 to 75,000 words, but 80,000 words can be safe.

5. Jennifer Represents: Wordcount Dracula (PS. LOVE THIS NAME): Realistic YA should clock in between 35,000 to 75,000 words, and fantasy YA should be within 50,000 to 150,000 words (the sweet spot is between 65,000 and 85,000 words)

The note at the bottom of Wordcount Dracula is that sometime a really good book goes through.

Here is a list of some popular YA books that I have read and their word counts:

  • A Wrinkle in Time: 49,965 words
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: 60,216 words
  • Looking For Alaska: 64,033 words
  • Thirteen Reasons Why: 62, 496 words
  • Inkheart: 146,809 words
  • The Selection: 80,248 words
  • Anna and the French Kiss: 81,100 words
  • Cinder: 87,661 words
  • Divergent: 105,143 words
  • Twilight: 118,975 words
  • The Giver: 43,617 words
  • Hunger Games: 99,750 words
  • City of Bones: 130,949 words
  • Speak: 46, 591
  • A Great and Terrible Beauty: 95,605
  • The Book Thief: 118,933

Word counts are all over the place. Here is my conclusion to this conundrum:

Write the best novel you can, using as many words it requires to tell the story the way it should be told. Edit out all the stuff that doesn’t need to be in there to help the story move along. Even if you really want to keep it, don’t if it does not help the main character tell his/her story. Extra words and scenes causes the word count beast chew you up and spit you out. Don’t let the beast win. Show the reader your story. Let us fall in love and break our heart and everything in between with as few words as possible.